How to Piss off My Husband

1. Take a 5 hour class on Sundays
2. Prepare for my five hour class on monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday and sunday.
3. Take David Ortiz's name in vane.
4. Mention the two hour HBO special i'd like to watch during the Red Sox game.
5. Sign up for salsa lessons but tell him we're just meeting friends for dinner. Surprise!!!
6. Replace his Sam Adams with Sam Adams Light
7. When he slaves over the stove, tell everyone I made the meal
8. Tell him what I really think of his family
9. Discontinue his Times subscription to pay for a new pair of shoes
10. Take his car for a spin and return it without any gas.

this is just for starters.

CLASSIFIED

To classify something is to put it neatly in its own little box; to compartmentalize. I have gotten in trouble for this before. It's also called assuming something is so when there are exceptions to every rule. I know we are talking about toys, desserts and relatives but with relatives it's probably best not to let them read this one. The honesty that comes through when telling a stanger all the wonderful details of your families craziness is much easier than confronting your family about their own craziness.
I am dry, as dry as the desert. Seriously, I have no ideas flowing. Usually, when an assignment is given I have an idea or two. I jot down a few notes. This time?-- Nothing. Nothing at all. No hint of an idea. That and I can't write anymore because, I can't think anymore either.
I need the beach and a trashy novel.
I just want to bake in the sun all day long-- throw caution to the wind, and think again without having to feel like i have to be clever.

Ohhhh UB

A branding campaign is an interesting thing. It's not Coca Cola we're selling, or Hershey's bars here at UB, we're selling an education and hopefully it's the right one for all of us. When looking at schools I have to admit, I didn't just pull up the cover pages of various school websites and say to myself, "MMMmmmmmm, Harvard's logo is so old and tired, let me look at RISD's yeah no, that won't do either." Initially I looked at the program, what would I be doing? and who would be teaching me? Then, hey can I afford this education, that now is necessary in today's job market. An advanced degree is a MUST. Incurring more debt is a MUST.
UB's logo while more energetic is also, I feel, going to go out of style very quickly. So kiss that $300,000 goodbye because in ten years you'll be doing it again and then you'll really confuse everyone.
I did like the old logo, it was standard and classic which I realize is not what the university is going for especially with the introduction of the four year undergraduate programs. But does this new logo capture that idea? I think it's interesting that the blue they chose is a kind of navy blue suit, blue. Borrrrrring! All that's missing are the pinstripes! The green though gets lost. They do compliment one another but I think its at the wrong volume. Not enough punch. It's an exchange- one kind of bland for another kind of bland, just with more energy???? I guess???
Also since the launch of this new logo I have seen it reproduced in several different colors, I 've seen it in grayscale, with orange and I swear I even saw it in fuscia although I can't remember where and I have no proof. But Let's not do what we did before and have six official school colors representing various programs and completely throw everyone for a loop.
How about we spend that money on building a website that works. The pull down menus are frightening, I never get to the same place twice and don't get me started on the color pallettes that change from page to page. I find myself wondering if I'm even visiting the same website from link to link. Fix the website for prospective students. It is the first impression and it shouldn't be confusing.

PERSISTANCE

I don't have anything to say.
I don't have anything to say.
I don't have anything to say.
I don't have anything to say.

this post started out like this, and then I found this:

From the personal diary of a guy you might have heard of, Christopher Columbus.

May 4: On this day we sailed on.
May 5: On this day we sailed on.
May 6: On this day we sailed on.
May 7: On this day we sailed on.
May 8: Discovered Land! Ate corn!

My point: I have to remember to BE patient! Often it might look like nothing is happening, but surely a little bit at a time, I am improving, growing, learning,-even though it may seem like I am standing still. At the same time: my teeth are decaying at lightning speed, the worry crease in the center of my forehead is becoming more pronounced by the second, and those cute high heels I bought in Boca are so painful that my bunions hurt even thinking about wearing them. I guess I'm improving even though I'm also aging. I guess you can't have everything.

Lisa Loeb Look Alike

D.C. is sometimes the coolest and strangest place on Earth. Friday night Jon and I went to the Rhino Bar in Georgetown. It's a Red Sox bar and Jon is a maniac about the Sox, which has no bearing on my story but if you like the SOX this is the place to be.

While we were there some radio station personality, "Elliot In The Morning" was giving away a trip to Colorado for one lucky person. He announces the name and everyone at my table looks at me and starts pointing like "Hey, hey!! Here she is." Well my name isn't Sherry Willis and I was mortified. They thought I would get away with it or something. My friends wouldn't let it go and "Elliot In The Morning Guy" thought i was Sherry and then he called my a Lisa Loeb look alike which I was laughing hysterically at. It must be the glasses.

But only in DC and specifically Georgetown could a group of people, who prior to this point had been discussing genocide-, i.e. the situations in Darfur and Rwanda with Madeleine Albright's teaching assistant for her Senior Foreign Policy class at Georgetown, switch to: "Hey that Lisa Loeb look alike is really Sherry Willis who just won a trip to Colorado but doesn't seem too excited about it, because she really isn't Ms. Willis but her friends are nut balls and won't leave it alone. Did I mention 3$ pitchers were flowing. That could have something to do with it too.

Holy %#@? (Antecedent, Expletive, Natalie's Definition for our Word Project)

I realize that some projects come more quickly than others. This cause and effect is killing me. I also realize that yet again I have placed myself in a completely subjective field where I am at the mercy of another persons idea of what is right and wrong, good or bad, successful or not and well this time around I am over it. I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean it as in: it's ONE opinion. At the end of the day if I can say that I gave it my all well than i should sleep like a baby every night knowing that I have done my best and that my best sometimes doesn't translate into an "A". hey that's the nature of the biz.
I had a teacher in highschool who would write on the board, "you are not your grades"--Mr. Moore where are you now?
At least someone isn't standing over me telling i'm fat, that my neck isn't long enough, that my torso is too long or we're looking for a red head and you bobbled on your triple pirouette. Sweet, thanks buddy, not only did I pay to come out here and audition for you but apparently I paid twenty bucks to take a class which you cut me from early, i lost one of my glossy headshots to you in the process and now your insulting me? My new motto is to just get over it. If Donald Trump quit everytime he heard No, would he be a billion dollar real estate mogul in charge of the Miss USA pageant? I don't think so.

Historians aren't completely certain how the character "Uncle Sam" was created, or who (if anyone) he was named after. The prevailing theory is that Uncle Sam was named after Samuel Wilson.

During the War of 1812, Wilson was in the business of slaughtering and packing meat. He provided large shipments of meat to the US Army, in barrels that were stamped with the initials "U.S." Supposedly, someone who saw the "U.S." stamp suggested -- perhaps as a joke -- that the initials stood for "Uncle Sam" Wilson. The suggestion that the meat shipments came from "Uncle Sam" led to the idea that Uncle Sam symbolized the federal government. Either way "Uncle Sam" has become a long lasting symbol in and for the U.S. government, particulary the armed forces branch for progaganda/national support posters.

If your interested in propaganda posters. The grahic artist Ian Micah Wright has a website devoted to political posters targeting the War in Iraq and other issues of the day. If you are the faint of heart type who is easily offended, proceed with caution. His site is very critical of the current situation and of The President in particular. it's called The Propaganda Remix Project and includes a foreword by Steven Heller. If you ever want to feel really good about yourself just read some of Mr. Wright's hate mail. Yikes.

Ian Micah Wright

TO THE FIVE

Drawing of NYC skyline by Matteo Pericoli from his book Manhattan Unfurled, 2001.
I used to love the Beastie Boys back in my undergrad and then I just stopped. Recently I have a new found respect for their work and can appreciate their words with a new understanding, instead of just admring their unique sound and eclectic spirit. To the Five Boroughs is in many ways their response to 9/11. The CD came out in 2004 as an homage to the city where they make their music.
The typography on this cover reminds me of some throwback to the 80's, like something you would see on Star Wars pajamas. It definitely has an adolescent boy feel to it. Maybe I see that because my brother introduced me to their music in the 80's during the height of his rebellious adolescent stage.